I have spent my whole life thinking about everything. And like many doing the same, I might be closer to the answers, however, never less confused.
But some people like me just hate being confused, so they choose to believe something, or to get themselves crazy (joking), like that I choose to become a determinist as well as an atheist. My father has become a Buddhist since I was still a little kid, and actually I was always afraid of other people knowing that my father believed in that thing, which in my little eyes was stupid. I don’t know much more about Buddhism than I did, but I get to know more answer-like opinions which help me look into the world from better angles. And it turns out things I believe don’t seem to be much wiser than those religions.
We are dust in the universe.
I should be counted as an admirer of the nature. I stop everywhere to feel it, to feel the beauty, the strength, the details and everything that makes me feel that I am there. And of course, sometimes I just can’t help thinking about death, after which I would never be able to feel anything. Because I believe at that time, my consciousness would have again become part of the mind of the universe, and that amazing thing would never be able to feel myself any more. That’s sad, but the same time I am so curious about the mind of the universe. When I start dying someday, I hope I would get a second or two to take a glance at that great mystery.
But no, I don’t think I would get that chance, and that’s really a pity of choosing what I choose to believe.
One of the opinion I believe is that the universe is nothing and can’t even be defined by nothing, as no word can be used to describe it. Actually it makes people even sadder comparing to thinking about their consciousnesses being just illusions. And it brought me depression for a quite long time, but finally I became able to separate it from my real life and continue the meaningless everything. 🙂
Dust. But still amazing.